The Adventures of Swan-Boy

This week we're participating in Cassie Mae's Easily Flushed Blog Hop!

We're really looking forward to checking out everyone's embarassing stories. Hope you enjoy ours!

"Yes, honey, I know swans are cold-blooded killers. Yes, honey, you already told me about how they hunt in packs. Of course, honey, of course there's a global swan conspiracy that's plotting your demise at any minute."

So there we were, lazing about on a lazy Saturday afternoon on our Lazy-Boys (we take relaxing very seriously). I was leafing through the paper when I casually mentioned that Black Swan was playing in the local theatre. I had heard great things about it, it had just won an Oscar, and I was curious.

Big Mistake.

Aaaand that's when the ranting started. I knew better than trying to stop him once he's started, even though I had heard it all before.

NEVER FORGET

In case it isn't readily obvious, my husband is terrified of swans.

Let me explain.

The year was 1991. The world was still recovering from the horror of teased hair and leopard print leotards. The Super Nintendo had just been released, ensuring an entire generation of children would never ever learn what sunlight looked like. And somewhere, in the deepest, darkest corner of the world, Vanilla Ice was getting ready to unleash his unique brand of horror on the unsuspecting world.

Enter 9-year old Bryce.

Just another day, having a picnic in the park with his family. A day that would live...IN INFAMY.

Although, to hear him tell the story, the attack was an unwarranted, unjustified attack, and totally 100% Not His Fault. But after asking his family about it, what actually happened was considerably different.

Maybe it was something he saw on TV, or maybe it was all the video games he played, or maybe he was just an idiot, but in 9-year-old Bryce's mind, this was all he could think about.

He didn't know how, he barely knew why, but at that moment, he wanted one thing and one thing only.

He was going to catch that damned swan.

 

And even though it's common knowledge most animals don't like it when you tackle one of their babies, everyone was surprised by how ferocious those little bastards can be. After all, when normal people picture swans, they picture this:

But when BRYCE pictures a swan, all he can see is this:

So needless to say, that picnic didn't end well for him. Everyone else, however, seems to remember having an absolute BLAST.

And that's why I'll never be able to watch Black Swan.