Why We Write

Well, this week's been crazy, as usual. Crazy seems to be the new norm now. I think back to the days where our evenings and weekend were spent watching TV, reading the news, going out and hanging out with friends. And then I think, meh. Too boring.

Looking back to when we had just started querying earlier this year, I remember saying it was this huge emotional roller coaster and that I'd been freaking out about it. I look back at that young, naive person and just laugh now. Querying? A roller coaster? Really?

Because that was nothing compared to what it's like now.

I'm quickly learning that the further you get along on this journey, the wilder the ride gets. So to any other aspiring writers out there hoping it gets easier, I got bad news for you. Because compared to this, querying was like one of those stupid rotating airplane rides that they stick little kids on. Once you get past the query, the highs get higher...

WOOHOO! THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME!

And the drops get waaaaay more steep...

CrapcrapcrapcrapCRAP!!!

Because getting rejected on a query is one thing. Having a partial turn into a full, and THEN getting rejected on the entire MS? That felt like the worst breakup ever, and I've never even MET the agent in person!

By the end of this journey, I fully expect to be having regular, daily heart attacks.

So anyway, I was talking to a friend of ours about all of this, and how it's like elation one day and devastation the next, and they asked me a question that gave me pause. "So why are you doing this?"

They weren't trying to be mean or anything, it's just that the way I describe the journey to a non-writer, it sounds pretty much the opposite of fun. But it got me thinking. Why AM I doing this?

And in the end, the answer really is that I'm doing this because it's my dream.

And I know, I know, that sounds horribly corny and cliched, but let me explain.

By day, I work in IT at a bank. And the job's fine and all, but it's not like fifty years from now I'm going to look back at all the reams and reams of TPS reports I've filled out over the years and go "Yes. This is my life's work and I'm proud of that."

Writing is different for me. At the end of my life, if I can look back at piles of novels I've written, that people have read and enjoyed, that people will continue reading and enjoying long after I'm gone, then I will be proud of that. My life will have had meaning. My life will have mattered.

So I write because if I ever stop chasing after my dream, quite simply my life will stop having meaning. And once my life stops having meaning, there's literally no point in getting up every day. And that's just not an option. I write because I have to.

So what about you? I know there are a lot of other writers out there, I would LOVE to hear from you. Why do you write? What keeps you going on the bad days?