Sunday, January 1, 2012

The Cherry Bomb



Most kids have NORMAL hobbies as they're growing up. You know, like baseball or stamp collecting. Bryce's hobby? Cherry bombs. Yeah.

Meet the Explodinators. That's the name Bryce and his friend Tom (who from henceforth shall be referred to as Idiot Friend) named their stupid little club, which might I add would probably have been taken down by the Feds and sent to Gitmo if they had tried any of this crap now.

A typical day in the lives of the Explodinators would involve a lively debate over what they should blow up today...



And then the actual blowing up (or attempted blowing up) of said unfortunate target,



But, I mean, whatever, right? They were kids, playing around with cherry bombs. How much damage can you do with a cherry bomb? Not much. Until one fateful night, that is.




Bryce woke up, in the dead of night, and immediately got to work.

In his head, he was the Da Vinci of dynamite. In his head, he was the Edison of explosives. And maybe he was right. Because the next morning, when he showed Idiot Friend what he had done, his eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

Because this is what Idiot Friend's used to seeing:



And this is what he saw instead:


Yeah, Bryce basically spent all night gluing about a hundred cherry bombs together. Now, I'm no legal expert, but I'm pretty sure what he did probably would have qualified him as some kind of terrorist nowadays.

ANYHOO, Bryce and Idiot Friend wasted no time in picking a target, namely literally the first thing they saw when the looked out the window. As anyone who's ever been given a BB gun for Christmas by a reckless uncle knows, ultimate power like this demands to be exercised immediately.

They stopped in front of their target to briefly give thanks for the bounty that they were about to receive, as was the Explodinator's custom, and then...they lit the fuse!



Apparently, rubber cement takes quite a while to completely dry.

"PUT IT ON THE GROUND!!!" Idiot Friend screamed, in between panicked sobs.



Suddenly, just as Idiot Friend was coming to terms with the impending loss of his right leg, Bryce realized that a shoe is not the same as his foot.



Idiots.

No comments:

Post a Comment