The Twilight Zone

Have you ever had one of those days where it felt like you were living someone else's life? Like you're walking around in a dream, not really sure what was real and what was fantasy? And every few minutes you keep glancing out the window, looking for some kind of flying pig or tap-dancing french poodle to confirm that yes, you are in fact dreaming?

Leonardo DiCaprio often shows up. Usually, he's not wearing pants.

A while ago we won an auction at Read for Relief for a query critique from super-agent Jim McCarthy over at Dystel & Goderich. And again, we were expecting him to completely rip the thing apart.

He just got back to us.

And he requested a full.

What the bloody Hell is going on here?!? We went from our query being so bad it killed people to two requests?!?

And to anyone else going through this process, seriously check out The Query Shark. Seriously. I cannot stress how helpful that site is. It changed everything.

And now it's time panic about our manuscript. Gulp.

Pieces of Eighties

When I compiled my suggestions for A Century of Books (here), Thomas rightly pointed out that I'd pretty much cheated for the 1980s.  Six of my ten suggestions for that decade really relate to different periods - because they're biographies or lit crit or whatever.  Although I think titles like A Confederacy of Dunces and The Bean Trees earn their right to be there, it's fair to say that my knowledge of 1980s literature is pretty lacking.  I didn't read my first proper book until 1991, after all.

For some reason, when I think of the 1980s all I think of is Bonnie Tyler, looking a bit like this:

So, although I won't be compiling a list for my challenge, I would still like some suggestions to get me in the right mindset for the 1980s next year.  Which books would you recommend from the 1980s, fiction or non-fiction?  You can suggest any, but I'd especially appreciate it if they were in some way 'zeitgeisty'...

I know you'll do me proud!  Over to you...

Waiting on Wednesday # 68 - Don't Expect Magic + Bitterblue

"Waiting On" Wednesday is a weekly event, hosted at Breaking The Spine, that spotlights upcoming releases that we're eagerly anticipating.

My picks:

Summary from Goodreads:

Delaney Collins doesn't believe in fairy tales. And why should she? Her mom is dead, her best friend is across the country, and she's stuck in California with "Dr. Hank," her famous life-coach father—a man she barely knows. Happily ever after? Yeah, right.

Then Dr. Hank tells her an outrageous secret: he's a fairy godmother—an f.g.—and he can prove it. And by the way? The f.g. gene is hereditary. Meaning there's a good chance that New Jersey tough girl Delaney is someone's fairy godmother. 

But what happens when a fairy godmother needs a wish of her own?

Don't Expect Magic by Kathy McCullough

November 8th 2011 by Delacorte Books for Young Readers

Summary from Goodreads:

Book 3, tentatively titled Bitterblue and currently in progress, is a companion book to both Graceling and Fire and takes place in the seven kingdoms eight years after Graceling. Bitterblue will tie all three books together in some way. Bitterblue is the sixteen-year-old protagonist, and Katsa, Po, Giddon, Helda, and other characters from Graceling will be part of the fabric of the book. Plenty of fighting still to come!

Bitterblue by Kristin Cashore

The Seven Kingdoms #3

May 1, 2012 by Dial

Finally the cover of Bitterblue was released! I'm so excited about this book! I absolutely loved Graceling and Fire.

Christopher and Columbus by Elizabeth von Arnim

37. Christopher and Columbus by Elizabeth von Arnim

I am very grateful to Erica Brown for giving a paper on Elizabeth von Arnim's excellent novel Christopher and Columbus (1919) at the conference I attended recently, as it was the incentive I needed to read it.  Not that I needed a lot of incentive - I loved both The Enchanted April and The Caravaners, as clicking on those titles will attest.  The former was very sweet, almost sentimental, in its depiction of the changing powers of a beautiful place; the latter was a bitingly ironic first-person account of an unpleasant, war-mongering German on a caravanning trip in England.  It would be difficult to think of two more different novels coming from the same author, and I wondered where my third von Arnim experience could possibly take me.  As it turned out, right in between the two - Christopher and Columbus is often very cynical, in an incredibly funny way, and yet also very endearing.  And it has twins in it.  So obviously it goes straight onto my 50 Books You Must Read But May Not Have Heard About.  (We're getting quite close to the end now, aren't we?)  Prepare yourself for a fairly long review, since I got carried away... 

Christopher and Columbus are, in fact, nineteen year-old twins Anna-Rose and Anna-Felicitas von Twinkler.  I'll have to forgive their mother for giving her twins essentially the same name, because she is dead - as the novel begins, these half-German, half-English girls are living with their abhorrant Uncle Arthur and long-suffering Aunt Alice, and war breaks out.  Uncle Arthur can't stand opening his house up to enemy aliens (even if they are his wife's relations) and so packs them off on a boat to America, neutral in 1916 when this is set.  They don't really see themselves as German, as they explain to Mr. Twist, an adorable young man they meet on the boat - and the rich inventor of Twist's Non-Trickling Teapot.

Anna-Rose watched his face. "It [our surname] isn't only Twinkler," she said, speaking very distinctly.  "It's von Twinkler."

That's German," said Mr. Twist; but his face remained serene.

"Yes. And so are we. That is, we would be if it didn't happen that we weren't."

"I don't think I quite follow," said Mr. Twist.

"It is very difficult," agreed Anna-Rose. "You see, we used to have a German father."

"But only because our mother married him," explained Anna-Felicitas. "Else we wouldn't have."

"And though she only did it once," said Anna-Rose, "ages ago, it has dogged our footsteps ever since."

The most delicious thing about this novel (and it is a very delicious novel) is undoubtedly the twins' dialogue.  It's such a delight to read.  I don't quite know how to describe it - maybe as though it had been translated into German and back again?  But not just that, they both have such a captivatingly unusual outlook on life.  Their logic swirls in circles which dizzy the listener; their conversations would feel at home at the Mad Hatter's Tea Party - and yet they are lovely, kind, fundamentally good people - and without being remotely irritating.

Those of you who've been reading Stuck-in-a-Book for a while will know I like twin novels - but I also like to judge 'em.  The cardinal sins of putting twins in a book are (a) making them exactly like each other, (b) making them exact opposites of each other, and (c) having them ever be surprised at the fact that they are twins.  You'd be surprised yourself at how often the third of these happens - as though being a twin weren't something completely ingrained in the characters, and they happened to forget that they looked like their sibling etc.  Personally, I find the idea of not being a twin incredibly weird.  Your sibling doesn't share your birthday?  Didn't start school when you did, or have the same bedtime and pocket money?  Very strange. (!)

Sorry, sidetracked.  As I was saying, Elizabeth von Arnim was being put the test - and passed with flying colours.  Well, nearly.  I got irritated by them dressing the same as each other at the age of nineteen (THIS WOULD NOT HAPPEN), but we'll let that slide.  They are very believable as twins - wrapped up in each other's worlds, but with their own personalities.  While Mr. Twist may think of them 'as one person called, generally, Twinklers', this is not how they see themselves.  Anna-Rose is a little more sensible and also more sensitive; Anna-Felicitas is dreamy and other-worldly and yet often the most tenacious when it comes to arguing a point.  They make such a wonderful duo, and carry the heart of Christopher and Columbus - even if the rest of the novel had been drab and dull (which it is not) they alone would make it a worthwhile vibrant read.

For the majority of the novel they are being hurried from pillar to post.  The ocean voyage takes up a lot of the narrative, as they meet their fellow-passengers pleasant and unpleasant, and most significantly Mr. Twist, who (by the end of the journey) considers them akin to sisters.  Whether or not the good people of 1916 America will share this outlook is more open to debate - he has a particularly tricky time in Clark, at the home of his self-delusional, tyrannical mother and put-upon sister.  Elizabeth von Arnim's portrait of small-town life hasn't dated much in a hundred years (although I still love small towns and villages):

It was the habit of Clark to believe the worst.  Clark was very small, and therefore also very virtuous.  Each inhabitant was the careful guardian of his neighbour's conduct.  Nobody there ever did anything that was wrong; there wasn't a chance.  But as Nature insists on a balance, the minds of Clark dwelt curiously on evil.  They were minds active in suspicion.  They leapt with an instantaneous agility at the worst conclusions.  Nothing was ever said in Clark, but everything was thought.

But before they arrive in Clark they travel all over America, bad luck meeting them at every turn.  While von Arnim relies heavily on coincidence for the events of this section of the novel (including a very amusing section where a taxi-driver thinks the Annas are dressed for a funeral, when they have no knowledge that their host is dead) it's all done so endearingly that it doesn't matter.

Part of the amusement comes from the girls' unfamiliarity with the brave new not-really-so-neutral world they have entered.  They are not accustomed to the American practice of tipping, nor the absence of afternoon tea, as is evinced after they have been instructed in the art of the former by an insolent hotel employee:

"He might have said thank you," she said indignantly to Anna-Felicitas, giving a final desperate brushing to the sulphur.

"I expect he'll come to a bad end," said Anna-Felicitas soothingly.

They had tea in the restaurant and were the only people doing such a thing, a solitary cluster in a wilderness of empty tables laid for dinner. It wasn't the custom much in America, explained Mr. Twist, to have tea, and no preparations were made for it in hotels of that sort. The very waiters, feeling it was a meal to be discouraged, were showing their detachment from it by sitting in a corner oof the room playing dominoes.

It is, in fact, the lack of afternoon tea which spurs them on to their next project.  And, frankly, I can think of no better reason for doing anything.  They decide to set up a tea room called The Open Arms, specialising in expensive afternoon teas.  I shan't tell you any more of the plot, because there is plenty in the 500 pages to discover for yourself (including an ending which I felt did let down the tone a little), but I did want to mention The Open Arms as a means of introducing you to Mrs. Bilton.  She is the cook hired, ostensibly to cook, but mostly to lend an air of respectability to the endeavour.  Mrs. Bilton is a hilarious creation.  She does nothing but talk.  No interruptions - save screaming in her face - have the least effect on her.  Mrs. Bilton is every talkative older lady you have ever known, multiplied by a thousand.  Mostly she talks about herself, her thoughts, and the varying state of her psyche.

The twins were profoundly bored by her psyche, chiefly because they didn't know what part of her it was, and it was no use asking for she didn't answer; but they listened with real interest to her concrete experiences, and especially to the experiences connected with Mr. Bilton.  They particularly wished to ask questions about Mr. Bilton, and find out what he had thought of things.  Mrs. Bilton was lavish in her details of what she had thought herself, but Mr. Bilton's thoughts remained impenetrable.  It seemed to the twins that he must have thought a lot, and have come to the conclusion that there was much to be said for death.

Oh, how I love E von A's turn of phrase, which slips so quickly from the merely ironic to the ever so slightly biting.  It is this stream of cynicism which prevents the general ebullience of the twins from ever becoming wearing, and which makes the novel so wonderful.  She really is a brilliant writer, and has been underappreciated - she seems to be remembered (if she as remembered at all) chiefly as a whimsical, fey writer.  But like Austen, her tongue can be as sharp as it is charming.

I'm taking a bit of a risk, putting Christopher and Columbus on my 50 Books list when there are so many other E von A titles I've yet to encounter.  Perhaps I will end up preferring one of her others, but I will still believe that this particular novel has been unjustly neglected and want to do my best to create fanfare for it.  I promise you'll be enchanted by Anna-Rose and Anna-Felicitas, and probably repeat fragments of their dialogue aloud to anyone who will listen.

And now I turn over to you - which E von A ought I to read next?

Things to get Stuck into:

Our Hearts Were Young and Gay by Cornelia Otis Skinner and Emily Kimbrough (1942) - I haven't blogged about this, because I borrowed it and had to return it, but it's absolutely wonderful as an accompaniment - serendipitously, I read it immediately after the E von A novel.  It's non-fiction, about a 1920s trip around Europe by two excited, somewhat green American girls.  The transcontinental trip is thus the other way round, but their experiences are equally amusing and eye-opening.  This book is an absolute scream, and would also be loved by fans of the Provincial Lady.

Work = Less Reading?

Hey guys!

Maybe some of you have noticed that I have been kind of absent lately. Believe me, it's not because I'm tired of my blog.

Almost three months ago I graduated from Veterinary school, and I've been very lucky, because I have found wonderfull jobs. I started at a small hospital working part time, and now I'm working full time at a laboratory doing veterinary drugs marketing. It's great, I love it, and best of all, I'm happy.

But....I'm reading less!!

It's not only about less time to read, but about less energy to read. Sometimes I get home early, but so tired mentally that I just want to sleep. I try to read...like 5 pages...and then I'm gone to the dream world.

So...my body is just adjusting to all this work and responsabilities, but I'm starting to read again. Actually, this weekend I finished Sweet Venom by Tera Lynn Childs and devoured Bad Boys Do by Victoria Dahl! 

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I'm slowly coming back with more reviews. There is also another giveaway coming celebrating Halloween, so don't go away! :P

Cakes galore!

Thanks for your advice about focaccia - I did all those things, and it was far *too* wet.  Like, actually liquid.  So that's the last time I trust Paul Hollywood.

Luckily I have no such trouble with sweet things (is this the kitchen's way of telling me to steer away from savoury?) So today I thought I'd share some of my baking creations with you - through photos and recipes, if not actually in edible form. Here they all are:

Obviously I didn't make the crisps, but the rest are products of my hours in the kitchen. Some of you were asking for recipes, so I thought I'd make this into one of my absolutely-simple-easy-baking posts, which can be ignored by those of you who are either (a) much better bakers than me, or (b) wholly uninterested in baking. But everyone likes looking at pictures of cake, right? I'm only actually going to type out one full recipe today, but will link to another two, and explain a fourth.

First things first, and the thing which went down best with the dozen or so people who came to eat cake, we have mini chocolate orange tortes. I basically put together elements of three different recipes from Afternoon Teas by Valerie Ferguson, and added the twist of orange zest. I've made chocolate torte before, but I thought it might be fun, and easier to serve, to make lots of mini tortes. I think it worked better - more pastry in the pastry-to-ganache ratio, which makes them feel a little less rich. I'll list the ingredients in various measuring forms at the beginning, and then just in grams as I go on. It's annoying to have to scroll up and down a webpage, if you're making them from a computer screen...

Mini Chocolate Orange Tortes
Makes about 18

For the Pastry
225g/8oz/2 cups plain (all-purpose) flour
115g/4oz/half a cup butter/margarine
Two tablespoons icing (confectioners') sugar
1 egg
teaspoon vanilla essence

For the Filling
335ml/11 fl oz/one and a third cups double (heavy cream)
350g/12oz dark chocolate
Zest of an orange

You'll also need a fairly shallow cupcake baking tray - if that's the correct name for one with 12 inlays for cupcake cases! (Or, in this case, tortes.) Until I learn a better word for those things, I'm calling them 'inlays' - which sounds ridiculous, but I have to call them something. This is the one I used, which I think came from Robert Dyas:

1.) Preheat the oven to 200C/400F/Gas 6 (imagine degree signs there, would you?)

2.) Sift 225g plain flour into a bowl, add 115g diced butter/margarine, and work with fingers until it's breadcrumby.
I always use a wooden spoon to start with, because I hate putting my hands in mixture at the best of times - once the margarine is worked in a bit, it's less unpleasant.

3.) Stir in two tablespoons icing sugar, then add an egg (which you should have beaten in a mug or similar first). Also add a tablespoon of water, or slightly less. Better less than more at this point. Work into a dough.

4.) Roll out into a dough.
Those five little words sound so easy... I hate using dough, which seems to delight in getting stuck everywhere. So I put flour all over the counter and the rolling pin and my hands and EVERYTHING. It should be rolled pretty thin, but not so you can see the counter through it.

5.) Cut into circles with a cookie-cutter. I didn't have a cutter big enough, so used a tupperware container. Crucially, the circles have to be big enough to go up the sides of your baking tray inlays, otherwise the filling won't work... Once you've cut your circles, put them in the pre-greased tray.

6.) Prick the bases with a fork, line each one with baking parchment (squares will do) and ceramic baking beans.
If you don't own ceramic baking beans (and you should!) then any dried beans will do, or rice, or anything heat-proof to weigh the pastry down so it doesn't rise while baking.

7.) Bake for 10 minutes - then remove paper and beans, and return to oven for another 5 or so minutes, until they're golden. Remove from the tin and put on a cooling rack.

Depending on how deep the tray inlays are, you may have to bake some more cases now (I did) - reusing the baking parchment, of course.

You might need a bit of a break before you do the next step, as the filling doesn't take long and the pastry cases need to be cool before you add it.
So... go and have a cup of tea and read a book.

Ready? Ok, let's make the filling.

8.) Bring 335ml double cream to the boil in a pan over medium heat. Remove from the heat and stir in 350g chopped dark chocolate and the zest of an orange. Keep stirring until it has all melted.
For those in the UK, I actually find that Sainsbury's Value dark chocolate works and tastes the best here. Not sure about the ethics of the chocolate production, but it's definitely cheaper and better than their other ranges.

9.) Spoon the mixture into the cases, and leave to set - putting them in the fridge when they're room temperature.

10.) The filling is *very* rich and quite smooth, and I find a topping of a cracklier chocolate is nice - I used Cocoa Nibs from Divine Deli's Decorate! which I've now sadly finished. Must find some more... don't seem to be available from their website, but you can browse their range, and now I want it ALL.

Ok, you're done. Enjoy! (I find they're at their best if they've been in the fridge overnight, so these can be made in advance of a party, maybe...)


This is looking like a long post, but the next two won't take very long, promise...

These profiteroles came from Mary Berry's Baking Bible, borrowed from Verity. It's more or less the same as this recipe here, only in the Baking Bible she doesn't leave them in the oven quite as long - the last ten minutes are optional, post-splitting of profiteroles. I didn't bother with a piping bag to put them on the tray, which is why they're a bit misshapen. My twist on the recipe was to add some Bailey's to the cream, pre-whipping, which was (though I say it myself) rather a stroke of genius. Mmmmmm. Plus, it would keep my brother away from them...

For the brownies, I followed this recipe, with no twist at all! (Measurements only in cups, so I had to do lots of online conversions.) Oddly I found it while searching for date brownie recipes, but it wasn't until I started baking that I realised they don't actually have dates in them. So now I have a packet of dates to use later!

Finally, the miniature Victoria sandwiches - this was an idea lovely Jo used on Great British Bake Off, and I thought it sounded fun. I'm not going to give the full recipe, because it's just a normal sponge cake - the difference is the presentation. Bake it in a deep, rectangular baking tin, rather than circular one. Once it cooled, I got my Holly-from-Bake-Off on, and whipped out a ruler. These are 5-by-3.5cm rectangles, but basically do sizes which look sensible. Pick cuboids of cake which look about the same size as each other - spread jam on one, butter icing on the other, and sandwich together! (For butter icing, use twice as much icing sugar as butter/marg.) A fun way to make (almost)bitesize pieces of cake which doesn't involve a lot of knife-wielding during a party. (They will, of course, go stale more quickly - but I don't know of any houses where that's really an issue...)

Phew! We're done. Hope you don't mind such a long baking post, I'll be back to books next time. Do let me know if you plan on trying out any of these recipes!

In My Mailbox # 46

In My Mailbox is a weekly bookish meme hosted @ The Story Siren

Stolen from my niece:

The Wright 3

The Bad Beginning

Flush

Charlotte's Web

For my Kindle:

Stupid Fast

What did you get this week?